How To Overcome Self Doubt So You Can Show Up And Serve

Let's talk about self-doubt.

This is something that comes up a lot for people who struggle with their confidence, esteem and accepting themselves. I don't want you to let self-doubt scare you out of dreams, goals, ambitions and service you provide.

You will experience self-doubt regardless of who you are. I am pretty sure you can remember a time when you have doubted yourself and it has stopped your form doing something. It does not matter what colour or creed you are (this is what makes us human).

A lot of things that get in the way of you showing up and serving at your best is to do with how you think or see something. So, the meaning you put behind something can motivate or keep you stuck.

There is a quote that I love which says:

‘‘People will never rise above the opinions of themselves’. Unknown

I used to struggle with self-doubt. Don't get me wrong it does creep in sometimes. However, I do not give it the same attention I used to, it doesn't have the same hold on me that it used to because I’m now have the tools and had the tooIs to change a few things up and took a few steps to overcome self-doubt and I'm going to show you how you can do that too, right now.

IDENTIFIED THE SELF-DOUBT AND UNIDENTIFIED WITH THE MEANING- Every time I noticed self-doubt creeping and resistance to doing something. I would call it out. Name and shame it, ‘this is self-doubt’. I normalised this ‘this happens to many people' and then encouraged myself.

ASKED FOR HELP BUT NOT SEEK REASSURANCE- I stopped trying to do it all myself and when I needed help, I actually started to ask for it. I made sure I was not too dependent on others' opinions or views, so monitored whether I was seeking reassurance or asking for help. If this is not monitored you can get stuck in a cycle of gaining confidence through others and not yourself.

PRACTICED SELF-COMPASSION- I started compassionate journaling, and practiced treating myself and speaking to myself like I would a friend.

TOOK SMALL STEPS- I broke things down, everything that was in front of me that was holding me back, I thought about how I could make it SIMPLE and EASY.

FOCUSED ON WHAT IS IMPORTANT- I focused on my values and what was important and meaning for me. This helped me to focus on my strengths and what I enjoyed doing, helping others. This helped to cancel out the noise.

CHALLENGED MY UNHELPFUL THINKING- I did this by getting clear on what was realistic and what was just my own opinion.

Hope this helps you.

SHANLEY LEWIS


The 3 E’s for an effective morning self-care routine that sets you up to win.

The 3 E’s for an effective morning self-care routine that sets you up to win.

Do you ever feel like you’ve failed your morning routine? Or you just can’t stick to the routines or plans you have set yourself.

There are a few reasons why this may be the case.

You have too much going on-  

Your expectations are too high. It can be so easy to put high expectations on yourself when you are starting something new. However, these expectations can sometimes set you up for failure. You need to make sure your routine is simple and doable. If you have not been able to stick to a routine before, you do not want to overload yourself with lots of things that may be irrelevant. Simple and sweet helps with consistency.

You are not giving yourself enough time-

You need to be realistic here. With the activities you have selected how much time do you need to get something out of it? Don’t give yourself less time than you need.  Do not feel that just because you have a routine you need to do it all at once. Another way you could do this is by selecting an amount of time you can allocate to the activities and the break down the amount of time your spend on them to fit in that time; this makes it more realistic and doable.

You are not focused on what you need-

One of the best ways to focus is to prioritise. Figure out what is important for you to be doing and create time for it. Make sure you are doing activities that met your needs. Once you have mastered that then you can work your way up.

So, what are the ingredients for an awesome routine?

Self-care is all about making simplicity so you can be consistent and show up for yourself.

Your routine or plan should consist activities that

Energise you- This would involve you doing things that boosts your energy and shifts your mood.

Educate you- This can be things such as audio books, physical books, courses, journaling or reflection.

Embrace you- These would be anything that expresses appreciation, boosts your confidence and esteem, or helps you to learn more about yourself.

Start auditing your routine and share your routines with me.

Share what your routine will look like in the comments.


How to check in with yourself +self-care checking questions

Many do not know where to start with self-care.

A good place to start is with self-reflection.

Taking care of yourself can be really difficult. This is where self reflection comes in.

If you don't practice self-reflection which helps you to become more self-aware you make it harder for yourself. I like to say, if you are not aware then you can't take care.

One of the first things I teach anyone starting out on their self-care journey is to practice self-reflection. You can do this through check-in questions, mindfulness or journaling.

When you meet your needs, this is how you make self-care easy and effective.

Here are some check-in questions that you can ask yourself:

?How am I feeling right now?
?What sensations do I notice in my body right now?
?What thoughts am I having right now?
?What am I experiencing at this present moment? .
?What do I need right now?

You can use this as a journaling prompts or you can answer these questions aloud and proceed to meeting your needs.

CLICK HERE to get your good to me Journal.


3 Ways to develop self awareness

Do you find that you are always on autopilot? Do you find you feel like you do not really know yourself or you end up overwhelmed and stressed out and rarely know how you got there?

We will be sharing 3 ways you can start being more present and develop the skill of self-awareness. Self-awareness is one of the keys to self –care and is usually the first place you should start, even if your feel like you have been feeling a little wobbly with your self-care.

How will you know what you need if you are not aware?

Let’s get into the 3 things that will help you to get into it.

Mindfulness

What is it?

Mindfulness is  a meditation practice where you would pay attention and awareness to the present moment on purpose , on purpose without  the psychological process of purposely bringing one's attention to experiences occurring in the present moment without judgment,

Practice:

Pick an activity that constitutes part of your day to day morning routine, such as washing your face, brushing your teeth, making a meal or having a shower. When you do your chosen activity, bring your full attention and focus on what you are doing. For example, body movements, the taste, the touch, the smell, the sight, the sound etc.

Check In Questions

What is it?

Check in questions are simply questions that help you to check-in with your mental health and wellbeing.

Practice:

What lesson have I learnt?

How am I feeling?

What sensations do I notice in body?

Journalling

What is it?

This is a simple way of getting your thoughts out onto paper. This is a great way to record and track what is important and your life and helps you to stay focused. It has been found that journaling helps to reduce anxiety and stress levels. It helps you to develop a deep relationship with yourself and promotes self-discovery. There are no rules with journaling and no right or wrong way to do it.

Practice:

What would the best version of me be doing?

What does your ideal day look like?

What do you know to be true today that I didn't know a year ago?

In this moment, what are 5 things you're grateful for?

Get your good to me journal with a evidenced based framework to help you on your self- discovery journey.

Hope this helps.


3 Things Stopping You From Setting Boundaries

Have you been struggling with setting boundaries?

 

I have a few reason why this may be the case.  I always say in order for you to take care of yourself you need to be aware.

Self-awareness is always the start of dealing with problems. If you can not see it, then how are you going to be able to deal with it.

I know setting boundaries can be very very challenging, but not only does it feel uncomfortable setting these boundaries , there are also some barriers that might be getting in the way of you setting boundaries with ease.

Boundaries can be particularly difficult to set if you are a people pleaser or care a lot about what other people think about you etc. so you may struggle with one of the two below.

Oh yes! You need to have the desire to have boundaries and set them in your life or it’s not going to work.

Lets go through them-

?Fear of:
Hurting someone else feelings
Abandonment
Someone else’s anger
Being seen as bad or selfish
Being seen as too strict or rigid

?Guilt of:
Letting somebody down
Appearing strict, rude or disrespectful
Not helping or being helpful
Not been kind or caring

Your mind-set:
All or nothing- If I cannot do it then what is the point of doing it at all.
Shoulds and musts- Thinking you should or must do things or be doing certain things.
Labeling- You would be believe that you are a certain way because you can not do one thing. This does not mean that you are bad at everything.

You need to challenge these unhelpful thinking styles as they impact your mindset and stop you from setting boundaries, and this then impacts your beliefs too. It because a vicious cycle.

A helpful way to challenge your mind-set is asking yourself:

Is this a fact or an opinion?
What evidence do I have for this being true? and what evidence do I have for this not being true?

You can face your fear of setting boundaries by committing to them. You can reduce the guilt by setting boundaries knowing your rights, using mantras and knowing the benefits that boundaries will have on your health and well-being.

Comment below with what you struggle with most when it comes to boundaries?


How to be more self-aware and how to meet your own needs

 

Are You Feeling Stuck With Meeting Your Own Needs Over Those You Serve?

 

You need to make sure that you're pouring back into your car whatever you have been pouring out.

 

In order for you to fill your cup up, you need to make sure you are meeting your needs.

 

You serve best when you are functioning of positive emotions, and this is facilitated when you meet your needs.

 

There are different ways you can develop your practice of self-awareness to ensure you are meeting your needs:

 

MINDFULNESS:

 

This is a fantastic meditation practice to help you in the practice of self-awareness it allows you to be non-judgemental and present in the moment being aware of your thoughts feelings and experiences.

 

CHECKING QUESTIONS:

 

Asking yourself questions and giving yourself feedback is a great way to ensure that you are meeting your needs. Often we are very good at checking in with our clients or those that we serve and often fail to do so for ourselves. A simple check in question could be, How am I feeling? What do I need right now?

 

JOURNALING:

Journaling is a great and healthy way to process your emotions and get your thoughts and feelings out onto paper, instead keeping it in your head. This really helps you to be more reflective and care for yourself and other better.

Self-awareness is key. When you are aware you are able to take care.

Leave a comment with what you will be doing more of moving forward to make sure you are not pouring from an empty cup.