3 Things Stopping You From Setting Boundaries

Have you been struggling with setting boundaries?

 

I have a few reason why this may be the case.  I always say in order for you to take care of yourself you need to be aware.

Self-awareness is always the start of dealing with problems. If you can not see it, then how are you going to be able to deal with it.

I know setting boundaries can be very very challenging, but not only does it feel uncomfortable setting these boundaries , there are also some barriers that might be getting in the way of you setting boundaries with ease.

Boundaries can be particularly difficult to set if you are a people pleaser or care a lot about what other people think about you etc. so you may struggle with one of the two below.

Oh yes! You need to have the desire to have boundaries and set them in your life or it’s not going to work.

Lets go through them-

?Fear of:
Hurting someone else feelings
Abandonment
Someone else’s anger
Being seen as bad or selfish
Being seen as too strict or rigid

?Guilt of:
Letting somebody down
Appearing strict, rude or disrespectful
Not helping or being helpful
Not been kind or caring

Your mind-set:
All or nothing- If I cannot do it then what is the point of doing it at all.
Shoulds and musts- Thinking you should or must do things or be doing certain things.
Labeling- You would be believe that you are a certain way because you can not do one thing. This does not mean that you are bad at everything.

You need to challenge these unhelpful thinking styles as they impact your mindset and stop you from setting boundaries, and this then impacts your beliefs too. It because a vicious cycle.

A helpful way to challenge your mind-set is asking yourself:

Is this a fact or an opinion?
What evidence do I have for this being true? and what evidence do I have for this not being true?

You can face your fear of setting boundaries by committing to them. You can reduce the guilt by setting boundaries knowing your rights, using mantras and knowing the benefits that boundaries will have on your health and well-being.

Comment below with what you struggle with most when it comes to boundaries?


How to be more self-aware and how to meet your own needs

 

Are You Feeling Stuck With Meeting Your Own Needs Over Those You Serve?

 

You need to make sure that you're pouring back into your car whatever you have been pouring out.

 

In order for you to fill your cup up, you need to make sure you are meeting your needs.

 

You serve best when you are functioning of positive emotions, and this is facilitated when you meet your needs.

 

There are different ways you can develop your practice of self-awareness to ensure you are meeting your needs:

 

MINDFULNESS:

 

This is a fantastic meditation practice to help you in the practice of self-awareness it allows you to be non-judgemental and present in the moment being aware of your thoughts feelings and experiences.

 

CHECKING QUESTIONS:

 

Asking yourself questions and giving yourself feedback is a great way to ensure that you are meeting your needs. Often we are very good at checking in with our clients or those that we serve and often fail to do so for ourselves. A simple check in question could be, How am I feeling? What do I need right now?

 

JOURNALING:

Journaling is a great and healthy way to process your emotions and get your thoughts and feelings out onto paper, instead keeping it in your head. This really helps you to be more reflective and care for yourself and other better.

Self-awareness is key. When you are aware you are able to take care.

Leave a comment with what you will be doing more of moving forward to make sure you are not pouring from an empty cup.